Monday, June 25, 2012

Summer Routine

You couldn't wish for a more beautiful day here in Los Angeles. 
The summer sun is painting my heart a glittering gold. 
the air is clear, the east bench stands pronounced, 
I feel light and intoxicated by where I live. 

I've been processing my issues, and not sure how to remedy them... 
For someone I know phrased my dilemma
"The Lu Cycle" 
It consists of not knowing what I want.
Quitting jobs out of unhappiness/discontent,
then possibly moving back to the safety net of Chicago... etc.

It's Self Sabotage and My insane ability to make excuses for myself from 
anything & everything. 
Resulting in holding myself back from myself.

 I've been aware of these "holding patterns" 
I've spent 8 years of my life battling the vicious cycle.
Holding back or destroying any possible success. 
Regrets? Sure, Always. 
I have passion, interests, and talent within. 
I do have something to contribute... 
But will I ever save myself from myself? 

I sit here paralyzed, unsure, and fearful of not having an answer. 
All I know is that this cycle needs to break. 

I'm more than what reality thrusts upon me. 
stop thinking so much and just DO 


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