Winter Solstice

honoring midwinter day with

 our first smattering of snow.

Not much, 

but I'll take it. 

Spinning Light

On Creativity

Digital Detox

Winter is Coming

This Very Moment

Compassion for Self I

Compassion for Self II

Volere e Potere

Will and Power

Spinning

Get Out of Town

"My heart wants roots

My mind wants wings. 

I cannot bear 

these bickerings."

Tis the Season...

White River Glass 

general store 

Life Energy

Morning Studies. 

This Very Moment

Another Lone Weekend
=
Seasonal Craft  

Bad Aftertaste

I took a job at AIC. 

Visitor Sales Associate. 

What a dream to work in such a beautiful and historic landmark!
Especially one that I keep close to my heart, right? 

That's what I thought...

My first day was monday;

I worked Info desk and memberships - great! 

I enjoyed people watching, daydreaming about 'the good ol'days' and 

chuckled with the old women who volunteer. 

To make a long story short, AIC has changed - a lot. 

And not for the Better. 

This is what I learned: (tip of the iceberg)  

Three months ago they had a full blown change in the Sales department -

Their VS now had to meet a monthly quota. 

If you make your quota you get 10% bonus. If you don't 

 sell "x" amount of dollars you're put on probation, monitored, and counseled. 

This Shocked me.
I thought I was just going to sell tickets, greet visitors, chit chat about art,
and share my general excitement for the museum. 

Apparently Not.

"it's a disservice to our visitors"
if we don't convince each passing person to empty their wallets 

on

city passes, memberships, tours, pamphlets, audio guides, etc.etc. 

Day two: 

Day long Sales Seminar. 

I can't tell you how distraught I was after this sales peptalk. 

Brainwashing us to think that manupulating people, using sly sales tackticts,
is Good Business. 

That this equals Success. 

That manipulating people is a GOOD thing. 

I sat there squirming in my chair, sick to my stomach that this is what I HAD to do in order to keep my job. 

I get it. 

Big business is business.
Big Money is needed. We have to make them big money.  

But that's NOT FOR ME! 

AIC used to be simple.
You had the choice to buy a ticket, become a member, or donate, and that was it.
There was no shoving promotions, add-ons, tickets, and crap on people.
No bank of america, walgreens, macy's, yada yada advertisements....

far from feeling free, roaming an educational oasis. 

I don't care how crazy people think I am for leaving... 

I CANNOT be that Sales person. 

I will NEVER be that Sales person.
I cannot support these strategies
within their
"Big Money Business" 

Yes, I could have made myself Sell-sell-then sell harder.
Find that extra "5 dollars" and add add add.
I don't have those skills.
I don't think I want those skills.
And if that's what people think 'Success' is
then I'll always be Unsuccessful. 

But,
since they threaten your job anyway if you don't meet your quotas...
It's all the same!
So, F'em. 

I'm for Art. For History. For Community.
For Donations. For Memberships.
For Education. For Free Days.

It's a damn shame because I really needed this job.
I'm broke in every sense of the word,
but I won't allow money to rob me of my spirit.  

Blowing off steam, 

-Lu 

Cold Moon Part II

Just Before the Break of Dawn

Cold Moon.

Mental Note

I need to keep myself in check.

Dear So&So

I dusted off "Dear Ernest"

(my typewriter) 

and clickety-clacked this...

On Self

(photo personal archive)

"the urge to convert experience into a group of words 

that are in a grammatical relation to one another 

is the most basic and ongoing impulse of my life." 

-Jhumpa Lahiri 

To the Eye

I've gotten a little tumblr-happy lately... and food blog crazed. 

It's a problem. 

Anyhoo, I began a tumblr for visual inspiration only,

 as most do...mainly of vintage photography

(which I'm beginning to share my personal archive) 

But mainly what my eye is attracted to. 

happy weekend, critters. 

Shot(s) of the Day

Wander

There is Still Time

Mantra: 

stomach in, chest out, chin up, shoulders back. 

Post-it Note Addict

I may have a problem...

Cold Comfort

"Delicious Autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, 

and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns." 

-George Elliot 

Positive Reminder

Resting Spot

Fresh Blossoms. 

Camouflage detected-- 

A Precious Pale Pink. 

Silent. 

Still. 

The cold dampness of the earth below radiates 

a clean slate. 

 Wildly clean autumn air above --

Breathing in

Natures Brilliance. 

Mental Note

" Never allow someone to be your priority 

while allowing yourself to be their option." 

- Mark Twain 

Milk, No Sugar

Mug Love.

Even on the roam, crashing on couches, 

and living out of a suitcase...

my own coffee cup is in tow.

I'm picky, and it's rare when a mug

"speaks to me"

not just by it's aesthetic--though that does matter. 

I test it, see how it weighs on my wrist, how comfortable the handle is and so on.  

This weeding process is crucial because once a new mug comes into my life, 

I'm in a monogamous mug-relationship. 

Everyday. Each morning. The same one.

Something that can easily last a few years, if not longer! 

This quirky behavior of mine hasn't changed since...well...

when I first began drinking coffee on a daily basis. 

Given, I've picked up a few others along the way.

You know...during those "nesting" periods at a new homestead, 

when you feel the pressure to fill those empty cabinets...

For all those guests I entertain, right? 

pssshhhh!

Those few "non-special" cups sit dusty and unused in the back of the cupboard.

Although, if a guest does come over for coffee, 

I never serve them coffee in one of my "special" cups!

Goodness, no.  

We would have a direct case from

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade...on our hands.

If someone were to drink from one of my "chosen" mugs, 

they'll perish right before my very eyes. And nobody would want that to happen!

Now, to the shocking number of Mugs in my life

over the past decade....

Three.

Even saying this number aloud shocks me! 

Sheesh, maybe I should shop around more?!

Anyhoo, on this most recent vagabond chapter in my life, 

I had to leave my current crush behind in a storage unit.

sad, I know.

While any cup serves fine...

 The ritual of coffee is that much better 

with one that's "special" 

So, the other day I went rummaging at our local thrift shop. 

Replaying "Choose Wisely" in my noggin', 

if by chance I were to discover my next

"Holy Grail"

One immediately caught my eye.

It passed each test with flying colors. 

But, I chose to ignore my personal oddity and

save the measly four dollars. 

I was inevitably filled with remorse. 

The very next day I hurried back to the shop, eagerly searching for 

MY mug, hoping that no one else had snagged it...

It was there. 

I purchased the handmade delight. 

And introduced myself to number four, 

with a pipping hot cup of Chai. 

I never said I was normal. 

This Very Moment

Rainy Daze

Friday Mood

Oh Right!

I almost forgot...

that I need to learn French.

Mental Note

"Why do you so earnestly seek the truth in distant places? 

Look for delusion and truth in the bottom of your own heart." 

-Ryokan 

Windfalls

New Winds, bring
Rustling Change.

Look Into The Crystal Ball...

What do you see?

-Future Old Lady-Lu

Now and Then

 twenty-twelve 

nineteen-twenty three

(built 1905)

Into the Dust

This crick in my neck and twist of my spine, 

is that of a lasting strain. 

A clash of low and high pressure, 

opposing forces that result in a tumultuous string 

of storms. 

An atmosphere weighing heavy on my shoulders. 

Even on the clearest of days,

 a dust devil forms,

damaging the most arid areas of self.
The aftermath of these hazardous forces leave 

dim eyes, a sad mouth,
a mind clouded by the darkest corners of my subconscious.
Nerves vibrate loose, a stomach lit afire.

Natural forces
form, live, and die.

and
So do we. 

Changing Leaves

I arose with worry in my soul. 

An elevated heart rate, panic, uncertainty.

Acknowledging my self fulfilled prophecy for failure.  

Something that's constantly beginning anew,

then to it's ultimate end, a living Ouroboros.

This broken cycle reveals itself as a sealed room, from which I'm encased.

Each wall built blindly by hand, over a quarter-century.

This accustomed comfort, shelter, my shield of hope and resilience is fastened with a faulty lock. 

For these walls are shoddy, off kilter, poorly constructed and corroding from within.

A cracked foundation weakens my stability, bows and bulge, tattered corners, broken hinges. 

Once accepting, is now insufferably insufficient. 

Let the memories melt away. Say farewell to the nostalgia, the hurt, the triumphs. 

Quit picking up the scraps, in haste attempt to knit a quilt 

form worn patches of the past. 

It's time to tear down, and destroy the foundation you were given. 

Toil the earth, lay rich soil upon that inherited land and 

plant new life.

Life that will cleanse and purify all that was toxic, for someone else's future.  

Now, floating effortlessly above what's no longer mine, 

I'm carried away with the ease of lightness. 

Ready to be transplanted to another land. 

Ready to steadily build my 

own foundation

Leveled and New. 

Night Falls

It's friday. 

Turn on some Miles Davis. 

Dance around your kitchen.

 Cook a fine meal. 

Laugh and
Love the one your with.

Now, if you'll excuse me, 

I have a date with a good glass of red...

happy weekending, ladies and gents. 

A Good-Marnin'

Spin Light!

This Very Moment

Autumnal 

Emotional Recovery

back from santa fe. 

bonanza ranch wedding.

friendship, dancing, old and new faces. 

happy tears, chapped lips, wine. 

whiskey, dusty boots, music. 

food, sunsets, costumes. 

karaoke, coffee, sage, walks. 

early morning chats, heartache-goodbyes. 

lost voice, blistered feet, longing for a replay. 

now, back to reality. 

 dreaming for the future:

cooking, travel, wine,

writing, gardens,
autumn, coffee, books, a home, 

community, nature,
love.

Day to Day

Today:

Person: "What are your plans for the upcoming months?" 

Me: "Not dying."

Neutral Ground

" So encouraging to see the future unfurl...

As long as you remember it will bear no resemblance to the past."

-downton abbey 

Seaside

" I am not afraid of storms 

for I am learning how to sail my ship"

-louisa may alcott

Nowness

Shadows are an inevitable consequence of Light. 

Morning Chill

A crack in my ankle alterts a forecast, densely grey. 

 The warmth of a nights slumber accompanies me to the kettle. 

No matter how full my mind already may be, 

I'm renewed by the crackling brew of Coffee. 

A ritual which wards off all concerns. 

When late morning rolls around, my body feels cold, rigid, 

exposed to the elements; 

desperately seeking that warmth now gone. 

I take to tea, by one piping hot cup after another. 

It steadily gets me through the afternoon. 

By evening, I seek a rosy cheeked wine, 

to blanket the silent echos of night.   

Then, with a good morning to midnight, 

I take to my feathered nest.  

On the Turntable

Inspiration Station

Must Trust

When you're still in need of a job,

running out of time,

and panic stricken about a bankroll nearing none...

Sometimes, all you can do is shut down 

and 

walk it out. 

Hug Life

They say travel is good for finding oneself...

Maybe it's time to fill that prescription? 

Don't contemplate, just Go. 

Why? 

Because one day the day will come 

when the day will not come. 

I Choose All

There are Peaks and Valleys in Life. 

Even though I'm walkin' the rugged terrain of a Valley, 

turning in circles, hungry and disoriented;

I'm still able to manifest that Peak,

by way of a certain level of hope. 

It's time to detach myself from the Past, 

stop looking too far into the Future, 

and truly see myself Now in the

Present. 

On Food

yes.

Miss Early Bird

Given the proper wings, you will fly. 

This Very Moment

wine smile.

Forward

Leap and the net will appear 

Thursday Mood

It may seem a little odd, but when I begin to think about my place in life, 

I often refer back to this scene. 

Some meet their path/calling/passion/happiness,

whatever you want to call it...head on. 

 A manuscript, perfectly written out for them: 

He who is valiant and full of spirit may find your calling as....

a writer. a doctor. a mother. etc. 

Well, he must have died before carving

 the rest of his straight forward request, because mine reads:

Maybe you should....Aaaaauuuggghhhh.

Does it say anything else? 

-No, just "Aaaauuuuggghhhh"

My quest, is to figure the meaning of 

Aaaaauuuuggghhhh.  

Halted Tongue

Sunset. Last Night.

Miraculous Transformations.